The Big Book of Comebacks
by SoulRefractor
Summary: Have you ever had someone say a silly or nasty comment, and at the time you can't come up with a comeback? You replay the silly comment in your head and imagine what you should have said. Hopefully, this book will give you some answers.
1. Copyright page

**The Big Book of Comebacks**

 **Volume One**

Fanfiction

SoulRefractor Publishings  
28 Devons Road, London E18 4TB  
 _SoulRefractor Publishers Australia  
_ Level 18/206 Kite St, Sydney NSW 2000

An E-book original  
First published in Great Britain in 2018

The Big Book is a registered trademark of Working Partners Limited  
Series created by Working Partners Limited, London

Text Working Partners Limited 2018

SoulRefractor Publishings is a division of Hachette Teens Books,  
an Hachette Livre UK company.


	2. Welcome

**Some of the best comebacks to some of the rudest questions ever asked.**

Have you ever had someone say a silly or nasty comment, and at the time you can't come up with a comeback? You replay the silly comment in your head and imagine what you should have said. Hopefully, this e-book will give you some answers.


	3. PA You

**Best ever bully comebacks**

 **Physical Appearance**

* * *

You're so ugly

* * *

We are all sensitive about our appearance and it can be devastating to have someone insult your looks, especially publicly. When someone calls you ugly in public it can be so humiliating that you may be at a loss for words. It is even more horrifying when the person making a dig about the way you look is a supposed friend, or even a relative.

When someone insults you, it is about power, not about you. If you chose to use one of the comebacks below, you can take your power back and let them know you are not to be messed with.

I always think you must be a pretty ugly person on the inside to have the nerve to call another person ugly on the outside.

 _\- Too bad you can't Photoshop your ugly personality.  
\- I'm sure that 90% of your "beauty" could be removed with a Kleenex.  
\- Bitch please. My straightener is hotter than you.  
\- Maybe some of you girls should eat makeup so you're pretty on the inside.  
\- A beautiful face is nothing if you have an ugly heart._


	4. PA Are your boobs real or fake?

**Best ever bully comebacks**

 **Physical Appearance**

* * *

Are your boobs real or fake?

* * *

If you have large breasts you are probably pretty used to people staring at them instead of your face. Even though it is rude to ask, people will ask if you have had a boob job.

Whether or not you've had your breasts surgically enhanced, you don't have to answer such a personal question. You can always say it's your new Victoria Secret push up bra.

If it is somebody you have just met wants to know about your breasts, you might want to shut them up with one of our clever comebacks.

 _\- Define real? Really fabulous? Then yes they are.  
\- Of course they're real, what do you think they're imaginary.  
\- The boobs are real the smile is fake.  
\- If you're not feeding me, f****** me or putting the roof over my head it's really none of your business._


	5. PA You sure are flat chested

**Best ever bully comebacks**

 **Physical Appearance**

* * *

You sure are flat chested

* * *

When people make fun of you for being flat chested it can be hurtful and embarrassing. Everyone develops at different times and maybe you are a little behind your friends in the chest department.

Sure, there are guys out there who are obsessed with big breasts but there are a lot who are happy with an A cup.

If you are being teased about being flat chested, try one of our comebacks below.

 _\- Wow, you noticed, huh, Sherlock? Thanks for telling me, I had no idea! What other gems of knowledge do you have for us today?  
_ \- _If you don't look like a Calvin Klein model, don't expect girls to look like Victoria's Secret angels.  
\- I guess your MOOBS are bigger!  
\- Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one._


	6. PA You have a big butt

**Best ever bully comebacks**

 **Physical Appearance**

* * *

You have a big butt

* * *

If you have a big booty be proud! Years ago, only the Latino and Black culture celebrated bigger butts, now that has moved into mainstream culture.

A lot of women are paying big money to get the look that you already have. To get a bigger booty woman are now getting fat taken from their waits and injected into their buttocks. Women are also getting butt implants to look a little curvier.

Next time someone makes a derogatory comment about your big booty, just smile and know that you've got it going on, and a lot of women want the curves you already have.

 _\- Hey, my butt may be a bit big but there is no song about your flat one!  
\- Before the glorification of skinny there was something called sexy.  
\- Real men like curves. Dogs like bones.  
\- I'm not fat, I'm so damn sexy it overflows.  
\- I maintain my big ass so more people can kiss it._


	7. PA Would you consider having a boob-job?

**Best ever bully comebacks**

 **Physical Appearance**

* * *

Would you consider having a boob-job?

* * *

It can be a little shocking when a friend or your boyfriend asks if you would consider having breast enhancement. Whether you are as flat as a biscuit or a little perky, having plastic silicone shoved into your body isn't a decision to take lightly, especially if you are doing it for someone else.

We all have parts of our bodies that we like more than others and would like to improve. Some of us have chunky thighs, pear-shaped bodies, and some of us would like bigger breasts. There is nothing wrong with having your boobs done as long as you doing it to please yourself and not someone else in your life.

If you are perfectly happy with the size of your breasts, use our clever comebacks to shut up the person who asked.

 _\- It was interesting that you would ask that question, because I was thinking the same thing about you.  
_ \- _Would you? They have moob removal now (man boobs).  
\- If you don't look like a Calvin Klein model, don't expect girls to look like Victoria's Secret angels._


End file.
